Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Nest Searcher's Syndrome

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An abandoned nest, found in the hedge next to my kitchen door.

Our children have been gone for several years now.  We never felt traumatized, even when the last child left home;  instead we threw off our clothes and ran around the house nude, singing. And when he called home two days later, worried about "the empty nesters," we feigned sadness, so as not to disappoint him.  Why are we called empty nesters?  There are still two of us left here in the nest.

While I'm quite happy to be where I am, Tall Husband is talking of downsizing, simplifying, moving, giving away our stuff.  I've lived through his midlife crises, the search for the perfect sports car.  I never knew what he would arrive home driving and I'm still driving one of his experiments. But this is something new.  I'm not sharing his sense of adventure.  After all, our weekend home and our main home are in the same city...that's how adventurous this egg is.  I'm feeling as I did when we were planning to evacuate just ahead of a hurricane last year...what do I save?

So today, we have an appointment with a real estate agent in another city...no, not a city, rather a small Texas town...me, the Big City woman.  It's not that I have never been adventurous; before I met Tall Husband, I had lived all over the world.  I had made more than twenty long-distance moves, leaving a trail of enough stuff to outfit several families.

Note: I knew writing about this would help!  I just this moment remembered a couple who travelled the world looking for a place to settle, Nick and Carol.  They spent a year, sending back e-mails about their search, when they could find a cyber cafe.  When they returned, they had not decided and were planning another trip.  I lost contact with them but I'm sure mutual friends can put me in touch.  Perhaps those two birds can give us some advice.  They are the only couple I've known who have been afflicted with this yet-unnamed syndrome.  Let's call it nest searcher's syndrome.  I'll go Google that right now!


  1. Oh gosh, this is an adventure indeed. I'll stay tuned to see how this works out. Good luck!

  2. Hmmm...I wonder what you'll do? There's something really great about starting over in a new place/home. Everything is fresh and different and it sounds like you two have experienced plenty of life-changing moves to date. Still, leaving an area that you really love would be difficult...for me anyway...or maybe not so much? Your bungalow is so "cool" and filled with your spirit, it seems it would be hard to leave. Yet, as I say that I know I've left plenty of great places only to start new adventures and build anew. It all sounds quite exciting!

    Also, please know how much I appreciate your continued comments of support and caring as my husband mends after his open-heart surgery! Thank you!

  3. I had a feeling something was afoot. An Annieless Heights leaves me feeling a little blue ... but a new adventure to keep the blood pumping is a good thing. I hope you two find a perfect new nest to run around naked in! I love that :-)

  4. It will be interesting to see what transpires. I tend to panic with too much change, but I eventually deal with it and end up thriving. We are almost there, with the last one barely in the nest as we speak! We never owned a home, so we aren't tied to any one place, just the community I think. Not sure if we will buy something finally in a different town or look else where, but this empty nest thing is bittersweet for me I must admit.

  5. Don't go too far! I'm just getting back to Texas this May!